There are a few things that have always boggled my mind about men (or should I say boys...when do they become men anyway?) I'm sure that these same questions have entered some of your minds before as well because I have had many discussions with various girls on the subject.
Question 1: Why do guys have this obsession with calling us their "wifey"? Not "wife" or "babe" or simply our name...but "wifey". Jess started calling me this before we were even married because he couldn't wait to do so. And I know other guys who were the same way. I mean I'm not complaining...I like being called "wifey", I just don't understand the obsession.
Question 2: What is with guy's constantly calling other guys "tools"? I just don't get it...
Question 3: What is a tool anyway? Because it's used so much and for so many different types of guys that I'm a little lost...
Anyone with me on these mind-boggling mysteries?
Well...here are the answers:
On the drive home from Oceanside, I decided to have a little heart-to-heart/enter-the-mind-of-the-male-species conversation with my husband.
Here is what I found:
Answer 1: We are just trying to be cute. Plain and simple.
***My commentary: Okay...acceptable. I like it. :)
Answer 2: It is the best way to put another guy down.
***My commentary: Hmmm....still don't get it. Why put someone else down?
Answer 3:
Jess: A tool is a guy who thinks he is really cool and lots of girls think he's really cool...but every guy just knows that he is a fag.
Britney: But the guys you call tools are so obviously not gay...
Jess: NOOOOO. In this case fag isn't referring to being gay. Just an idiot.
Britney: Right **Thinks to herself: So how am I supposed to know when fag means gay and when it means tool?**
*** My commentary: This actually helped.
Jess continued to make a list for me of the "tools", the real "fags" and the "scumbags".
Tools: Brody Jenner, Spencer Pratt, Jason Mesnick, Mr. Darcy and ***gasp** Edward (oh no he didn't!!!)
Real Fags: Zac Efron (so NOT true...), Ryan Seacrest (duh) and Simon Cowell (who even cares...?)
Scumbags: Ed Swiderski (The Bachelorette) and Jon Gosselin (Jon and Kate Plus 8)
I then informed him that his lists were pretty short to which he replied...name some guys that girls are obsessed with and i'll tell you which list they belong in. So I named Adam Brody, Chris Pine and Rob Pattinson. He didn't know any of them and finally said, "I don't know. I need to open one of those US magazines to get some ideas."
Aha. Caught him. He KNOWS what US is...and he really doesn't even know who to place on the lists. Gotcha.
Oh...and he did say that athletes don't count because guys "accept" them as cool. And reality show stars are more often termed as "tools", "fags" and "scumbags" because they are famous for nothing more than being famous.
The Mystery is SOMEWHAT explained...I'll try to get more later...
ahahahahaha this is so funny and i am so glad you posted about this!!!! and i think the term wifey is sooo cute it just shows their love in am manly cute lil way i also have never been keen on the whole tools and and things when they say that im like uh hum like a tool box?! weird...
ReplyDeleteI always love Samantha's comments. She always gets it so right. :)
ReplyDeleteBut all I am going to say is LOL. This made me laugh a lot and I loved this post. I think it helped knowing Jess so well also because I could hear his words that you had wriiten,
ahhhhh Now I really am not going to be able to sleep. This got me going.
Thanks for sharing. One thing I know is girls will continue to like "tools" and guys will continue to knock "tools" until they find another word to replace it.
And finally Brit, you make a good wifey!
Loves <3! & Laughs:D!
Hey, lol at this post!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean.
I think Jess definitely got the scumbag department right! EW ED. EW. Why are his hands on his hips? Haha
HAHAHAHAHA jess WOULD, that is all I have to say.
ReplyDeletethe "scumbag" list made me diiiiie laughing.
PS jess had it all wrong. edward is NOT a tool. rob pattinson, however, IS.
that's all.
this post was amazing/fun-NY!!
ReplyDeletehowever, i have a small/large crush on simon cowell, and i know it's sick, but it's the truth. (:
jon gosseling is all of the above...couldn't agree more!!
Angieinpink- About Simon, me too. HAHA.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh my God, Robert Pattinson is a total fucking tool. I mean, look at that hair.
ReplyDeleteTool is pretty much a less tan, more sober version of a douchebag. Also, tools do not pop their collars, and get laid by bi chicks more often.